On Suffering

In my many studies (Both Academically and experientially), and in my personal interviews with people, (And my own personal experiences as a sufferer of the things I am now sharing) AND, as a Presently Anointed, Licensed and Degreed, “Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor” and “Temperament Therapist”; And a previously non-Religious Counselor), concerning, and (Particularly concerning) the Military Soldier’s that I am a member of and as my “Band of Brother” (I don’t excuse it but, Yes, it does sound overused). Also, I must acknowledge and include many others who also suffer these symptoms who were not Military Soldiers. I am not ignorant of them and do include them). After those respectful and legal statements, now I shall begin to expound my professional (And Personal) opinion on the topics of Suffering, PTSD, TBI, etc., as a fact and condition existing, but treatable with a new and different approach. I have discovered a few truths that may explain and help us. I would like to share my own research findings to all who are still looking for a way to deal with the terrible after-effects of war or traumatic injury. I do not have all the answers yet, but I do have some. And, unlike many professional therapist’s, I do not ask for anything in return. What God has given me (Although I have the right to charge for it) I will not charge. That was taught to me by my Mentor Paul. He lived the same way and so do I. First, if any of you reading my Blog are really trying to fight with some Secular Therapist’s and their tools exclusive of Spiritual tools, then you probably have found that their tools are lacking when it comes to relief (As I did). However, I do respect Secular Psychologist’s tools somewhat (Because I too have a Degree in Psychology) and also the Philosopher’s (And I have a Degree in that too). But, the missing element that even Religious Theologian’s claim to have (And, I also have a Degree in Theology) is escaping the unique and individual person who suffers from these painful symptoms. Here is where I can help fill the gap. In my opinion, the “Thing” that can really help has mostly been overlooked by the modern medical sciences and their methods. As a suffer myself, I discovered the real “Cure” quite by accident (Or, I should say, quite by the Grace of God). For example, once I went to a respected military psychologist/Psychiatrist and asked him in my first meeting why I was so depressed all the time. His reply was that, in his professional opinion, that my depression was my own fault, that I was angry at myself, and that it was a “Bad” thing. But, when I replied him that I had found depression a useful tool to bring me closer to my God he just scoffed and told me that he could not help me and to not return to him! Now, I ask you my friends, is that the way of mercy, kindness and compassion? Does that show an open mind? Is that scientific? I think not. Listen, depression (Acute or Chronic), PTSD (Now called PTSI, “I” being “Injury), TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury), etc. are WAR Injuries (Or, from any traumatic event) and must be accepted as a NEW part of the person who is experiencing the as “Normal” for them considering what has happened to them. The solution lies in the age old principle’s taught by Jesus Christ. Namely, Love, acceptance, comfort, encouragement, shared grieving and without telling the suffering person what they did wrong or what they should do to fix themselves (Why would they come to therapy if they could fix themselves?). In my best moments as a sufferer and counselor I have discovered the best treatment to be along the lines of: Give them a listening ear, hugs, and encouragement that their suffering has meaning. Meaning to people and meaning to God. I just let them know that I am available to help them (And do for them) whatever I can. I’ve noticed that in that simple way they seem to feel better! Well, of course! They now know that someone really cares that they suffer and that I too suffer like them. “There is no stronger bond between humans than a common bond” (That is my Credo). Jesus told us as believer’s we would suffer in THIS world. We believer’s suffer just as non-believer’s do, except we have one thing they do not have, HOPE. And, MEANING also in our suffering, they do not. The trick is to be able to turn our suffering Outward toward other’s who suffer as much or more than ourselves. In THAT is the “Cure” for our depression, etc. When we go to Christ we get His Holy Spirit and the Power of God to make our world a better place for ourselves and other’s. Your suffering is NOT your fault! Your suffering is NOT God’s fault! Your suffering came because you were trying to DO the RIGHT thing for the RIGHT reason! And you got hurt for it. That makes you a hero! Not a crippled or disabled or whatever label put on you by the Society. You are now just DIFFERENT and can choose to do things differently as God desires. Now is the time to introspect yourselves, check your motives, and discard the critics and MOVE AHEAD WITH CHRIST! Believe me, you will find more happiness in life if you do (And, eternal happiness later). I hope you will give Christ a “Try”. And, regardless of what you’ve been taught, “TRY” is NOT a four letter word. The Bible is full of those victorious and faulty and damaged people who just “Tried” and God made them successful. Would you like to be one too? OK, I will add more ideas later. But, please join and comment on our Blog. Blessings, Pastor Smitty

On Being a Soldier and Memorial Day

It’s astonishing to me how “Family” member’s can be so ignorant and careless about member’s of their Family who have selflessly sacrificed their own comforts and lives to defend and protect the Family and the American way of life against Evil. In my own case, (And I know of many thousands of other Military Veteran’s who have experienced this) that my own Nuclear( Immediate) Family has been and continues to be a source of perpetual suffering and sadness to me. Because they were never in Military Service (And war’s as I have been) they remain ignorant and even worse, do not care to learn about us Vets and the problems that we have, which directly affects, not only us, but our ability to love them and their inability to love us as we now are. For us Veteran’s, we get very sad and even angry at them (And ourselves if we care for them) because they have never risked their own life in any way as we Vets have for anything (Except to just get for themselves) other than themselves. I personally find it impossible to even try (And I have) to persuade or teach them to even TRY to to learn or understand us Vets. As for my own relatives, none of them really even made an effort to learn about my disabilities stemming from my active (Or current) combat horrors of war(s). Since it is (In my opinion) impossible for them (Unless they may honestly want to learn about us Vets, which mine do not) They then continue to treat me (Us) Veterans as if WE are at fault for having disabilities or in some way we are responsible for our own disabilities (Which we are not). And, that, we are responsible to make these disabilities go away on our own (Impossible) or conform to their ideas of what normalcy is within a Family (Or Nation). This is the Great Lie and the Great trouble we as Vets face daily. I cannot tell you of them many Vets (And other non Vets) who have come to me for counseling who have afterwards committed suicide in spite of my attempts to avert it! They never accepted their uniqueness as wounded and never could not accept that other’s could not or would not accept their wounded souls. What a tragedy! Yet, it has even happened to me. However, I believe that only GOD has the right to end me. They did not apparently. This is the great trouble we Veterans face. It IS possible for them (Our Families and Nation) to learn and accept us as we are now in spite of our disabilities (Not our fault) of war(s). But, for THEM it means that THEY must make an effort to begin to accept and love our different ideas, thoughts, feelings and strange behaviors for what they are, a result of violent experiences not our fault. For many relatives who never sacrificed as we Vets have it seems impossible (As with my own Family, except my Wife now) to adjust to. Bit, hopefully it can happen IF, and ONLY IF, they are more willing to make an honest effort to learn about what our disabilities are and how they came about and the adjust themselves and their own attitudes to include our symptoms and sometimes radical reactions to the “Norm” as they see it of a non-combatant society which they have always been a part of that remain ignorant to and of our brave Veteran’s (And dead hero’s) experiences. And what those mean to us. If they (our Families and Nation) do learn then we will all be able to respect and love and help one another in participation with them in a more peaceful and loving way. But, if they deny that they are ignorant it will only make for continued disfunction and disruption within our Families and our Nation. It appears then that it is up to US Veterans to keep trying to educate them. However, it is NOT our fault if they refuse to be taught. This has given me a great relief (And Calling) just knowing that it is THEM and NOT ME who refuse to learn and change. I can now go on with my damaged life and seek out other’s who do share and understand or are at least willing to understand and change themselves to accept me and my peculiar “Disfunctions” or “Disabilities” (I do not like these terms actually) as the thing for which it is. Namely, a direct consequence of living and fighting enemies of all families and America and it is just the affects of war(s) that have made us Vets seem distant or unusual to others. Hopefully, in the future they will make that seemingly impossible change. But, unfortunately for now not many have or will do the very hard work required to make it come to pass. So, what can I or we Vets do now? I suggest that we focus on our Comrades in arms, both on active duty and the Vets and ultimately focus on Christ and how HE did love and acceptance. It will be in these two areas of life that we hurting Veterans may be able to have any kind of peace and love in our own personal life and our relations. Even more, I hate Evil in all forms, and I hate Terrorism like ISIS (ISIL) and I would do anything I can to stop and end them either inside or outside the Family, America or World as a whole. That being said, may GOD help you in doing it! And, if you want, I am willing to listen to you. So, join and participate in our Blog! Blessings, Pastor Smitty